October 23, 2009

Okay now.

Yesterday was tough, but fortunately today is better. I slept well, with no haiku disruption.

I'm generally matter-of-fact about my kids coming and going, and we all take it pretty well. Yes, there have been pangs here and there, but more of a wistful nature. Yesterday was more like grief. It's still there, but much calmer today. Thank you all for your kind words and encouragement.

Even though I have some fun Hannah posts in the works (at least, to me they are fun, we'll see what you think), in keeping with my more somber mood, I'm going to share something that happened on Tuesday.

We have neighbors on both sides, one couple has no children, and the other is a rental house. When we moved here, the owners were still living in it, and they had two boys who became fast friends with Hannah. They moved out about 14 months ago, and the house was on the market for 9 months or so. They finally ended up getting a renter for it, a family with 4 children, 18g, 16b, 13g and 8g. They are good enough neighbors--the parents are friendly and kind. They're rarely home. When they first moved in, Hannah made several attempts at building friendships with the younger girls. They were polite, but didn't seem to be all that interested. Over the summer we traveled, and they traveled so we didn't have much opportunity to see them.

This fall Hannah has really been wanting to play with the girls. She's gone over to ask if they could play a couple times. The answer was that they had to do homework first and they'd be out in a little while. But they never came out.

She was disappointed, but moved past it quickly.

So on Tuesday, the girls were in their front yard, playing with their puppy (Max). Hannah saw them so she went out to play with them. They sat on the front steps (I was spying through an upstairs window). It looked like they were all having a conversation. A few minutes later I saw the girls running around the yard. And a few minutes later James went over to see how it was going. Hannah decided to come inside.

I asked her if she had fun with the girls. She hesitated and said, "My brain says that they don't want to be friends."

So we talked about why she thought that, and how it's important to listen to that voice inside of her. She doesn't always like everyone she meets, and they might not like her either. And that's okay.

Of course she'd rather have friends right next door. But right now she doesn't. And that's okay too.

I've always aimed for her to have people in her life who like her and appreciate her for who she is. It's really good for her to start to get the idea that some people might not make good friends, especially if they don't want to be.


Anonymous said...

That's certainly a hard one. You want other kids to see the wonderful things in your kids and be kind and friendly to your kids. You want to bonk them on the head when they are not. Then again. do you really want your kids hanging around kids who don't see their wonderful attributes?

So it's way cool that Hannah sees that and is good about it. I hope I can instill that in my kids. Right now, it's my oldest that doesn't understand why everyone can't get along and be friendly.


Beverly said...

Hannah is so smart to know who is her friend or not. Love that it doesnt bother her for long. Hope some new kids move in for her to play with.